The Lament

This was written a few weeks before my 19th b'day... during yet another bleak phase... Today, I was reminded about it by some1 (the phase, not the poem)... and... well... What more can i say... i guess the first two verses say it all... the rest is all additional baggage...


The Lament

Why is it that I find it so hard
Myself to express?
Why am I looked down upon
When I wish others to impress?

Why does everyone misunderstand me
When I say or do something?
Why do people misquote me
When I "blab" anything?

Why does bad luck follow me
Wherever I go?
Why do I always hurt myself?
Oh what should I do?

Oh why does everything bad
Have to happen to me?
Good luck avoids me but
I'm always followed by adversity...

I've tried and tried my
Best to succeed
I've begged, cajoled,
Followed other's lead...

Yet it is always the others
Who've past the test;
While I've failed utterly
And been left behind the rest.

I try my hard to please
But my advances are always repelled;
Perhaps it's because of the way I look
And my weight, which has trebled.

Whatever the reasons, yet don't the others realize
That I too am a human like them,
With feelings, emotions and the like?
I'm not filled with venom!

Till then I'll just have to wait
And keep on trying to please
While others make my life difficult
And themselves progress with ease

This poem was started quite time back, but I managed to complete it today... Yeh bhi waise Leadership ke lecture ki hi dain hai :) Jub lecture boring hone lagta hai, mein likhne lagti houn... Kindly suggest a title for it


Mera chain, mera qaraar tum hi ho
Mera inkaar, mera iqraar tum hi ho
Khuda ka diya sabr ka phal tum hi ho
Mere dil ki bechaini ka hal tum hi ho


Meri hurr chahat, meri raahat tum hi ho
Meri qurbat, meri mohabbat tum hi ho
Meri rooh ko jo de sukoon who tum hi ho
Meri zindagi ka junoon tum hi ho


Tum mere liye sub kuch ho
Phir bhi tum mere apne nahin
Hamari khwaishain, hamare khwaab, hamari hasratain
Sub kuch apna - aur phir bhi kuch bhi apna nahin


Kaash kuch aisa ho jaaye, tu mujhe khud apnaaye
Khud hi tu mujh se bole, khud hi mujhe sunaaye
Ke mein hi tera chain houn, mein hi tera qaraar
Mein hi teri chaahat, mein hi tera iqraar

The Eternal Wait

This was written during another boring Performance Management Lecture... What more can I say... I guess the poem says it all...

The Eternal Wait

This night, this never ending night
Stretches on and on, every minute dragging...
The cold heartless moon, the stars so distant
Looking down upon me, so condescending... deigning...

Alone here I stand, where you left me...
Ignored and unseen by all who pass...
I feel so neglected, so alone... so deserted...
My existence is now worse than a farce...

My eyes scan the horizon, praying for your return.
Your memories sustain me, your touch I crave,
My hope, but is fast waning as dawn approaches,

For soon I will walk back to my grave...

Is it wrong...?

Well, here's another blast from my past... July 2001 to be precise... Although I was 30, I'd yet to experience "being in love"... but now in retrospect, I guess this was a warning of some sort - a self-fulfilling prophecy, if u like - which I did not understand at that time...

Is It Wrong...?

Is it wrong to love...?
To love quietly,
Without a word?
From a distance,
Hoping for...? Hoping for what?

Does loving entail expecting?
Expecting to be loved in return?
I wonder...
Can one truly love without expectations?
Expectations of any kind?

Expectations - the scourge of mankind!
They destroy the very essence of love.
For true love should be unconditional,
Selfless, pure - without any motive...

Yes! It is wrong to love
If you expect to be loved in return...
To purify your feelings, remove all lust...
Your own heart must you burn...

At Least, Not Yet!

I wrote this in 1993, before I even knew what loving and missing someone really meant... But now, I know, that although in the poem I wrote "At least not yet!", in truth it is sometimes "Never"... what do you think? Pls do let me know what you think...

At Least Not Yet!

Clouds in the sky
Hide the moon from my eyes
But I know it is there
And he won't go anywhere...
At least not yet.

I am alone...
Feel tensed to my bones...
I miss you greatly...
Won't forget you so easily...
At least, not yet!

I am greatly worried.
They want me to be hurried!
I haven't given my answer -
How can I forget her?
At least not yet!

She left me to die
All that I do is sigh.
They want me to forget her...
I just can't forget her...
At least... not yet!

The Mirror

This poem was written a few years ago at the behest of a very good friend... he described a snap that he'd seen someplace and which he wanted to make into a desktop background pic or screensaver... I just imagined what he saw... and wrote this...

The Mirror

I wish I was a mirror...

Lucky is the mirror that gets to caress your face

And capture your beauty...

It gets to see you all day!

Tell me dear, tell me true,

Why do you look into the mirror,

When you can gaze at yourself in my eyes?

Your image in them will be more clearer.

I envy the mirror for it sees you everyday...

It embraces your reflection; it burns my soul!

It shows you just your face, your outer beauty...

My eyes will reflect the beauty of your soul.

Kaise?

Yeh bhi kal raat hi likhi hai... zaroor bataana ke kaisi hai...

Kaise?

Log kehte hain khush raho to aur khushiyaan aayengee
Koi yeh to bataaye ke khush rahen kaise

Sunaa hai ke haaste raho to haasii aur aayegee
Koi yeh to bataaye zaraa ke hum haasay kaise

Sub ne kaha bhool jaao ghum aur sukh ko apnaao
Koi yeh nahin bataata ke ghumon ko bhoolein kaise

Sub ne kaha hosh karo aur jeene lago
Koi to boley hum hosh mein aayen kaise

Hurr koi apni baat to bol jaata hai
Hum apni baat sub ko sunaain kaise?

Mere Mohsin

Kal raat (24th October 2008), kuch baaton ke baad, neend nahin aarahi thee... aur waise bhi, baatein sunte sunte, yeh alfaaz khayaalon mein goonj rahe they... to socha aap ko bhi sunaa doun... jin ke liye yeh hai, mujh main abhi utni himmat nahin ke un ko sunna sakoun...


Mere Mohsin

Meri zindagi meri apni nahin
Yeh tere ehsaano ki mohtaaj hai

Meri manzilein, meri raahein meri apni nahin
Yeh teri hi ishaaron ki mohtaaj hain

Meri khushiyaan, meri chahatein apni kahan
Yeh to tere iqraar ki mohtaaj hain

Meri saansain, meri rooh, mere ehsaasaat
Teri hi ijaazat ke mohtaaj hain

Tu khuda to nahin hai phir bhi
Mera wajood teri hi marzi ka mohtaaj hai

Yeh mutt samajh ke mein shukarguzaar nahin
Mera to hurr jazba tere hi mizaaj ka mohtaaj hai

Tera Intezaar

This was written during another boring Performance Management lecture (13th Oct 2008)... initially it was meant for a friend, but somehow it turned out to be for someone else altogether... let me know what you think...

Tera Intezaar...

Tera intezaar karte karte
Teri raah takte takte
Pal pal jee rahe hain
Hurr pal marr rahe hain

Tere deedar ko taraste
Teri ek jhalak ke liye tadapte
Jee kar bhi zinda nahin
Saansain hain per jaan nahin

Tu jo ek baar dikh jaaye
Sukoon is dil ko mil jaaye
Aur phir shurouh ho dobara
In ankhon mein tere intezaar ka silsilaa

Your Absence

This is the other extreme of someone's presence... My Dad passed away in 2000 and I saw how his death affected my mom... I wrote this poem from her perspective... I tried to capture her feelings with words... I don't think I even cames close to it... those who've lost a spouse / partner would understand my mother's loss better than I ever can... Please do leave your comments


Your Absence

 Morning has come again, I open my eyes,
Hoping to see your face beside me...
Once again I am filled with despair
For your pillow is again empty.

You went away that day, reluctant to go -
You said that you'd return earlier than I'd expect.
I waited for you - I'm still waiting for you,
For you are mine in every aspect.

You said you loved me - we'd be together forever;
You promised never to leave me;
I still believe you'll come back -
Your absence is driving me crazy!

I still feel your presence, I sense your existence -
You can't be seen, but yet you are with me.
Every week I visit the gravesite -
Can't believe you are there alone without me...

Your Presence

Hi guys, am here again to bore you with my own creative (?) writing...

I wrote this quite sometime back, so it's pretty amateurish... well, at least that's what some ppl have said... wot do you guys think? I'd really love to have yr comments...


Your Presence

I've read about it, I've heard about it...
Never thought it would happen to me...
You came into my life and turned my
Dreams & fantasies into reality.

You took away my sorrows;
You wiped away my tears;
You drove away my loneliness;
You calmed my fears.

You breathed new life into me;
You lifted my soul to new heights.
Your glances, your whispers, your touch
All made me feel so right...

But, you did this all as a friend,
Not realising you've become much more than that for me
I've become selfish since I met you -
I now need to be with you eternally.

I'm not asking for commitments,
I don't want to bind you with promises...
All i ask for is that you let me be by your side
Sharing your life, your sorrows, your happiness.

Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

Over the years, I've received this by e-mail from many ppl... it's quite true... you really do meet ppl for some reason or the other... sometimes that reason is so crystal clear, and sometimes we learn the reason only after our ways part...

Anyway, read it, enjoy it... and do let me know... wot r u for me and what am i to you? A reason? Season? or a lifetime? We may all have our own answers and perceptions, but only time will give us the real answer...



Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part,
or at an incononvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real!

But, only for a Season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life.

ham unhe.n vo hame.n bhulaa baiThe

I met Khumar sahab many years ago... it almost seems as if it was a different life, a different janam at that time... I must have been 14 or 15 years old... he recited this poem - I liked it then, without understanding the meaning... but now... it's a different matter...

I hope u like it as much as I do... enjoy



ham unhe.n vo hame.n bhulaa baiThe
do gunah_gaar zahar khaa baiThe

haal-e-Gam kah kah ke Gam ba.Dhaa baiThe
tiir maare the tiir khaa baiThe

aa.Ndhiyo.n jaao ab aaraam karo
ham Khud apanaaa diyaa bujhaa baiThe

jii to halkaa huaa magar yaaro
ro ke ham lutf-e-Gam ba.Dhaa baiThe

besahaaro.n kaa hausalaa hii kyaa
ghar me.n ghabaraaye dar pe aa baiThe

jab se bichha.De vo muskuraaye na ham
sab ne chhe.Daa to lab hilaa baiThe

ham rahe mubtalaa-e-dair-o-haram
vo dabe paao.N dil me.n aa baiThe

uTh ke ik bevafaa ne de dii jaan
rah gaye saare baavafaa baiThe

hashr kaa din hai abhii duur 'Khumar'
aap kyo.n zaahido.n me.n jaa baiThe

http://www.urdupoetry.com/khumar.html visit here to learn a lil more about Khumar sahab

I, The Misfit

This is something that I wrote in 2005, while travelling back home in a bus on the Dubai - Sharjah route... This is something which I've always felt... still feel even now... wish I could fit in and be a part of the picture... be a part of someone's dreams and desires... but alas... all that I am is just a Misfit...

I, The Misfit

Once again today I sit amidst a crowd;

A spectre surrounded by a sea of humanity;

There is turmoil both inside and out

A subdued voice trying to be heard!

Though wanting to be a part of all this rigmarole,

I can never blend into this circus,

Where there is no difference between sense and nonsense,

Where there are no defined limits, just various blends & mixtures

I search for my place - my niche - to fit in;

There is none to be found and it cannot be created...

Those who are different are just not tolerated,

And I? And I am one of them!

The Phoenix 3 - Breaking Away

This is the third and final part of my trilogy, The Phoenix. This shows a new bird rising from the ashes of the old one... though to be honest, this is something that I'm still waiting for in real life... wonder when & if it'll really happen...

Breaking Away

I open my eyes... a new day has begun
A day that will bring new beginnings...
A day of new resolutions, new changes...
A day that will bring a new me...


No more crying, no more pain, no more waiting for things to happen...
No more will I wallow in pity and despair;
No more will the past hold me back from doing whatever i want...
No more anger, frustration, desperation...have had more than my share


Today i break away from all things unpleasant
Today I make a new start, begin a new life...

From ashes once scattered by sorrow and flame, 

I rise - not unchanged, but no longer the same.

The Phoenix 2 - My Death Wish

This is the second part of my The Phoenix trilogy... this depicts the actually burning and turning into ashes of the bird...

My Death Wish

Always and forever... here i am waiting for you oh Death...
And you, like an errant lover, evade me, hide from me...
Why is it that you do not approach me, do not befriend me?
Am I so obnoxious that even you find me unworthy?


You have so many friends oh Death,
Why not make one more?
What harm would it do you to have one more...
One more who loves you, who awaits you for so long...

The Phoenix 1 - The Rude Awakening

This is a poem, which I wrote as part of a trilogy... I used the metaphor of a phoenix, as it first burns away and a new bird arises from the ashes of the old ones... In the same way, this first poem depicts the moulting, the degeneration of the old bird...

The Rude Awakening

You came, you saw, you touched,
You conquered, you made me yours...
You promised me the sun, the moon, the stars...
You said that you'd be mine if I became yours...


You taught me to dream, to believe in my dreams;
You said that nothing's impossible to attain...
You laughed at my joys, were upset with my tears -
You made me forget all the pain.


You brought meaning to my life,
Propped me, supported me, led me, guided me...
You told me that I could do no wrong
As long as you were beside me...


But now, all that seems like a dream,
And the present a rude awakening;
You broke your promises, your vows, your oaths -
You broke my heart that had only just begun blooming...


My dreams, my love, my adulation
Couldn't bind you with me for long.
You went away, far away, leaving me with memories
That I now weave into this, my last song...

How Do I love Thee

I read this when I was 14... couldn't ever forget it... one of my favourite pieces of poetry...


How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.


For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.


Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.


All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.


But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.


When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.


Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.